Welcoming Babies into Intermarried Families

Anyone who’s ever been in a delivery room, or held an adopted child for the first time, knows that miracles do happen. Deciding what to name your own miracle can feel like an awesome choice.

Options for Welcoming Babies

Parents who have settled on raising their child as a Christian can depend on the minister or priest for guidance in the christening and/or baptism.

For parents who have decided to raise children as Jews, the question of circumcision for sons is pressing, since the ritual is performed on the eighth day after birth. Boys are named at a bris. (If the baby’s mother is not Jewish, there may also be a formal conversion of the child — a process that includes immersion in a ritual bath or mikvah.)
Baby-naming ceremonies for daughters vary — some take place seven days after birth, others aren’t scheduled until the baby is a month or two old. Baby namings may be part of a synagogue service or held at home.

Welcome both sides of the family to any ritual and/or ensuing celebration. (“The New Jewish Baby Book” contains many ritual options and chapters of special interest to intermarried families.)

There are many ways to include non-Jewish family members in Jewish baby naming rituals. Typically, both parents do readings about the choice of the child’s name. Both sets of grandparents can be given ceremonial honors, such as carrying the baby into the room, and/or reading a poem or non-denominational prayer for the child.

Five Points to Consider:

1. New parents often feel the need to give public expression to the joy and awe of having a new baby.
2. Planning a baby naming may bring up emotional choices about your family’s religious identity.
3. If you decide to have a ceremony that is either Christian or Jewish, be sensitive to your extended family’s feelings, and find ways to include them in the celebration, if not in the ceremony itself.
4. Intermarried couples who decide to raise their children as Jews may find this a good time to talk to a rabbi or even join a temple.
5. Non-denominational naming or welcoming ceremonies can be meaningful without invoking or excluding either family’s religious tradition.

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